forgetfulness | first day of big kid school

i have a somewhat embarrassing secret... i am very forgetful. i have a tendency to forget who i went where with, and what i did with who. my husband will testify that this has been an ongoing ..uh, thing. some of our conversations go something like this:  "don't you remember going there together?"  he'd say, "um, no." and i would insist, "yes, we did!" and in the end, i had gone with someone else. or... he would ask me, "do you remember that time when we..." and i wouldn't be able to recall any part of it unless he gave me many specific details to jog my memory.

even though i think it's funny, i've been struggling to figure out why i have this problem. one day, he joked that he was nervous about growing old with me because in my old age, i might not remember things we've done together, or that he was my husband. he came to the conclusion that simply, i'm not present. instead of being truly in the moment, i am constantly thinking about the list of things that need to get done, or i'm busy worrying over something i have no control over.

and the that the fact that i take so many photos doesn't help. i tend to rely on having images to help me go back to that moment. in the age of cell phone cameras, it's become easier to record every detail of your life. 

this definitely explains why i'm so obsessed with documenting nearly everything about my life, especially when it comes to my daughter. i rationalize that at least i will be able to give them all to her one day and hopefully, she will treasure those moments that are often overlooked. and as for being in the moment, i'm working on it.  ;)

last week, my daughter started preschool, and that also meant back to work for me (more about my 'other life' in another post). i went back and forth on whether i should take the day off to be there. i use to think that preschool wasn't a big deal, that it wasn't real school until they started kindergarten. but several friends convinced me that it was a big deal - new school, new grade, new environment... and i had spent so much time preparing her for this day. i had to be there.

and i'm so glad i was because the morning was just precious from beginning to end. i couldn't help but feel sentimental while editing the images. my baby is growing up (big sigh)...definitely a bittersweet milestone! 

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interested in documenting a milestone? i would love to hear about it! 

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